The Dread of Divorce - How a Collaborative Divorce Saves a Lot More Than Money

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¡¡ The Dread of Divorce - How a Collaborative Divorce Saves a Lot More Than Money
By Charles Jamieson

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¡¡¡¡Divorce . . . ranked second (only to the death of a spouse or child) as one of the most stressful life events according to a well-established research study*, often turns rational, respectful, caring couples into angry, spiteful adversaries during the legal divorce process. The result can have far reaching, damaging emotional effects for husband and wife, as well as their children for many years to come.

Unfortunately, these negative effects are widespread in American society as current statistics indicate that 50% of first marriages end in divorce, and 60% of couples who remarry become casualties of divorce. Traditional legal divorce proceedings, which usually pit husband against wife in a win at all cost manner, no doubt play a large part in the stress levels that couples experience.

A New Trend in Marriage Dissolution
There is a relatively new alternative to traditional divorce called Collaborative Divorce which minimizes the psychological trauma as well as the financial expense of divorce. Both parties and their respective Collaborative Family Lawyers sign a participation agreement in which they agree to work together to achieve a satisfactory settlement in a cooperative manner. The participants agree not to go to court and to voluntarily disclose relevant information. Settlement is achieved through four-way conferences, informal discussions, and other non-litigation alternatives.

Both attorneys spend their time and effort to settle the case instead of preparing for and conducting a trial. Collaborative Divorce requires that all parties cooperate, and act in good faith with integrity and honesty. This means the process moves forward much more quickly -- requiring less time from each attorney -- resulting in lower legal fees. Nonexistent are the traditional, adversarial divorce tactics couples engage in such as exaggerated accusations, delays, wearing the other side down, etc.

Comparison of Contested Divorce Litigation and Collaborative Divorce

Common Questions:
I am so upset and angry right now, how can I talk to my spouse about collaborative divorce?
The Collaborative Law process uses the attorney's roles and structured agendas to make talking to your spouse easier. Couples who see the benefits of Collaborative Divorce -- both emotional and financial - put their emotions aside during the very structured meetings. Couples who behave irrationally, or cannot overcome extreme anger may not be candidates for Collaborative Divorce.
In Collaborative Divorce, will I still get a lawyer who will vigorously represent my interest?
Yes. Attorneys are trained to advocate their clients' interests no matter what the circumstances. If you are not satisfied, you are free to hire another attorney.

What if we sign an agreement and later my souse doesn't abide by it? Final agreements reached through Collaborative Law are drafted into a court order which, when signed by the judge, becomes an enforceable decree. How do I know if Collaborative Divorce or Traditional Divorce is best for me?
Consult a family law attorney who practices Collaborative Law and offers traditional divorce services.

Collaborative Divorce may be an option for many of the millions of couples who divorce each year and want to avoid court, save money, and have both parties' needs met. Typically, it results in a less emotionally destructive and more dignified divorce for all involved. Indeed, the most important difference between divorce resolved in court versus a Collaborative Law Divorce is not the outcome, but what happens along the way. And we all know from experience in other aspects or our lives that we have to live through the journey to get to our destination.

*Source: Social Readjustment Rating Scale published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research in 1967 by researchers Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe.

Charles D. Jamieson, Esquire, is the founding partner of The Law Firm of Charles D. Jamieson, P.A. in West Palm Beach, Florida. He has practiced family law for more than 25 years and has represented individuals or acted as a legal consultant in divorce and child abuse cases throughout Florida, as well as in more than 20 states during his career. Mr. Jamieson can be reached at 561-478-0312. Visit http://www.cjamiesonlaw.com

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